The Women's Art Show 2012

Each day of my life I feel honoured to be a woman and I would weep with sadness and horror if I awoke with my own penis and set of bollocks dangling 'twixt my legs one morning...

Imagine my delight at having some works selected to appear in The Women's Art Show 2012 next month at Fairfields Arts Centre!

Here are some snippets:

See you at the private viewing dear ones

Cuteness ahoy!

A chicken has gifted us with this year's Valentine offering

I was astounded to find it lurking betwixt two of the little spine-bones. 

 

Is this normal?  I knew about wishbones but not lovediscs!!  Perhaps this is a gentle reminder that we must treasure our spines and their fragile jellified components...

ooo

Now, delight in your day

Carcass day

The stage of carcass gets me down sometimes...

...it's mostly the sore eyes and hands that can occur from the plaster dustings,

despite all manner of protection

But then, it's all worth it in the end, 

and some of it is very therapeutic

So I shall stop moaning and rejoice

(Also, I found a small secret treat for the 14th too! 

It came from a carcass, that's why it gets a mention today...)

Old year/new year (A Confederacy of Dunces)

Me and my date for the evening:

An excerpt from what swiftly became my (joint) favourite book ever:

Ignatius pondered the proposal for some time, scrutinizing the scar on the old man's nose and belching gassily.  At least he would be working.  That should satisfy his mother.  The work offered little supervision and harassment.  Ending his meditations with a clearing of the throat, he belched, 'If I am functioning in the morning, I shall perhaps return.  I cannot predict the hour at which I will arrive, but, more or less, I imagine that you can expect to see me.'

'That's fine, son,' the old man said.  'Call me Mr Clyde.'

'I shall,' Ignatius said and licked at a crumb that he had discovered in the corner of his mouth.  'Incidentally, Mr Clyde, I shall be wearing this smock home to prove to my mother that I am employed.  You see, she drinks rather heavily, and she needs reassurance that money from my labors will be forthcoming in order that her supply of spirits won't be cut off.  My life is rather a grim one.  One day I shall perhaps describe it to you in detail.  For the moment, however, you must know a thing or two about my valve.'

'Valve?'

'Yes.'

ooo

I want you know how much I love this book - I frolicked in naught but a towel with it! 

Hope you get the message, and thank you

             

Jacques et Danio

ooo

 This rather pleasing location for photographing the finished piece was found at my place of work:

 

For my biggest fan III

As the completion of "Jacques et Danio" draws near, it is worth mentioning the particular terrors that were thrust upon certain viewers of the television tonight...

It was the season finale of CSI Miami so The Clance and I faithfully tuned in. 

That blurred man?  He's the baddie (well, one of them)

That dashing redhead? It's H (as if you needed any clarification!)

We knew something truly horrific was about to happen - we'd viewed the spoiler laden trailer several times in the week leading up to tonight's episode and had seen the beloved figure of Horatio Caine curled up in a near death pose somewhere on the mean streets of Miami.

In this picture we can see H's crotch area being highlighted by a gentle shaft of sunlight. 

This was taken before before he got shot there and should have perhaps been viewed as an omen. 

Oh, and check out that delicate paunch - what a vision of splendour!

Well, not only did H's good wenis end up getting shot clean off* but the rather-brutish-nowadays Natalia was also chucked into the boot of a car and plunged into some murky depths. 

Look! Here it is for you (in a slightly corn laden form):

We have no idea what is to become of them.

All we know right now is that "Jacques et Danio" contains a wenis and it is for someone whose name is a lot like Natalia.

So here:

ooo

*at least this is what we are led to believe until season 10 returns sometime next year...

The gift of a pumpkin!

This fine fellow came from The Clance's allotment:

And so, amongst other things, I made a delightful pot of pumpkin and sausage casserole to feast upon in order to help restore all of my strengths.

You too can try such a delight by clicking here.

It was a hearty and juicy treat.

ooo

(I didn't carve the husk into a frightful apparition - it was well past the eve of all hallows by this point so it seemed a bit silly)