Jacques et Danio

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 This rather pleasing location for photographing the finished piece was found at my place of work:

 

For my biggest fan III

As the completion of "Jacques et Danio" draws near, it is worth mentioning the particular terrors that were thrust upon certain viewers of the television tonight...

It was the season finale of CSI Miami so The Clance and I faithfully tuned in. 

That blurred man?  He's the baddie (well, one of them)

That dashing redhead? It's H (as if you needed any clarification!)

We knew something truly horrific was about to happen - we'd viewed the spoiler laden trailer several times in the week leading up to tonight's episode and had seen the beloved figure of Horatio Caine curled up in a near death pose somewhere on the mean streets of Miami.

In this picture we can see H's crotch area being highlighted by a gentle shaft of sunlight. 

This was taken before before he got shot there and should have perhaps been viewed as an omen. 

Oh, and check out that delicate paunch - what a vision of splendour!

Well, not only did H's good wenis end up getting shot clean off* but the rather-brutish-nowadays Natalia was also chucked into the boot of a car and plunged into some murky depths. 

Look! Here it is for you (in a slightly corn laden form):

We have no idea what is to become of them.

All we know right now is that "Jacques et Danio" contains a wenis and it is for someone whose name is a lot like Natalia.

So here:

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*at least this is what we are led to believe until season 10 returns sometime next year...

The gift of a pumpkin!

This fine fellow came from The Clance's allotment:

And so, amongst other things, I made a delightful pot of pumpkin and sausage casserole to feast upon in order to help restore all of my strengths.

You too can try such a delight by clicking here.

It was a hearty and juicy treat.

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(I didn't carve the husk into a frightful apparition - it was well past the eve of all hallows by this point so it seemed a bit silly)

Oh I am stricken!

After many minutes of screaming in pain so agonising that I was forced to scream, an ambulance was called for me to be rushed away in.

I did attempt to sashay myself into it, but swooned from the exertion and awoke gazing up at the jumpsuit clad crotch of one of my paramedics for the evening - a treasured moment.

Six hours later I left the Casualty department with some drugs and the illness incapacitation which forced me to remain upon a sickbed for nigh on a week. 

Thankfully, I managed to rouse and heave myself along to the truly amazing Dormitorium exhibition showing at Leeds Town Hall crypt.

I sneaked these images, but other people were doing it so I am quite sure it wasn't illegal...

And the word on the street (of crocodiles) is that Leeds is the place to be in 2012 for any fans of the brothers Quay.  Excellent!

For my biggest fan II

And so, Natalie demands of me almost every day to tell her where the frig her box is

 remember dear one: patience is a virtue

Aside from the carcass, you may also be pleased to note that I fashioned these delicious macaroons from  ingredients such as chocolate, ground almonds and whipped up egg whites... 

yum

Untitled (current project)

A selection of beasts:

"peep and creep"

One day they will do their beastly thing in the mushroom vessel

The wedding of Alison and Andy

I was a lucky guest at the wedding of my dear friends Alison and Andy on the 23rd of July.

Here is my gift unto them:

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"I do!"



"Oh me too!"

Tea dress

The final dress for the party I am forced to attend

My beautiful shoes also arrived this week!


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Whilst this appeared outside my window

For my biggest fan

Natalie likes boobies, fannies and wenises and she also likes ma kunst

 thus I shall create for her a morsel of reward for such selfless dedication to a really worthwhile cause.

The brief is simply to include the following:
a penis
a vagina
breasts
pink
silver
black


It is sure to look something like this:

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Also, Natalie will  hereby be known as my biggest fan in all the world. 

 Unless anyone else in all the world wishes to try their luck at replacing her, in which case I look forward to hearing about that.

WARNING: do not read this if you love/are the queen

So I think by now we are all aware that I have been inadvertently selected to attend a garden party with royalty this July.

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I am trying not to be bitter, but I can't help kind of wishing I had a criminal record for the second time in less than a year...they seem to do the trick for getting people out of such situations.

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Being a pauper, I spent £4 on some clearance sari fabric to attempt to make some kind of a tea dress for myself - yeah, it's lovely for all you attendees who can afford to splash out on frocks and fascinators, but some of us have to scrimp just to pay the taxes that fund this type of frivolity! So it's homemade for me.
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I shall be making sure I eat extra cake whilst I am there, just to create a little balance. Ha!
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Anyway, here are images of the dress that has prevented me from doing much else with my life. Except for going to work...to be taxed.

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The Lady Is a Tramp

Well spring has been just lovely thus far with all its yellowness and blossomings;

I have been very distracted!

So as the daffodils withered and the blossoms fell I managed to
squeeze out a little of the next stage of my current project.

And it is nice to remember that the bulbs are there lurking underground, cooking up goodness for the next spring.

Now I shall feast my gazes upon the delightful buttercups...

...whilst feasting my mouth upon such morsels as this!






(Oh I think we all know by now how long things take me, hence the large space betwixt bloggings)

A choosing musing...

Do you have a favourite? If so, please take a moment to add your choice in the voting scenario below.
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You may decide betwixt Riddance and Stasis

Thank you for whatever time you have taken here.

You are very precious to me.

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I may have to remove this widget shortly however because it looks pretty darn ugly!

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Not much to look at

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The piece, thus far, still seems to be at almost the same stage as last time.

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But I can assure you that those trees and the carcass itself were pretty much carved from scratch and I now have sore hands as proof of it.

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I quite like it in this naked state.

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